Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Judgement ~ A guest post

The lovely Chrissie has kindly offered to be my 2nd ever guest poster! She blogs over at Me and my Munchkin sharing her solo mumma journey. Please pop over and show her some love.

This post comes at the perfect time for me as just over a week ago I was judged at a play centre by at least 2 other mothers.
I took it really badly.

I just wished as mums they could have been a little more understanding and not so judgemental (or just straight out bitchy!)
BUT some people are like that and in reality we can't change them only the way we think and feel or how we react to these situations shows our own true character.

"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it" ~ Dennis P. Kimbro

Well enough from me here's Chrissies post, would love your thoughts, but remember please no judging.

Passing Judgement

Put your hand up if you have ever made a snap judgement on someone. I'm sure that everyone reading this has done at some point in their lives. What makes all the difference though, is if you voice that judgement.

Being a single mum in my early twenties, I am subjected to lots of judgement. I am a stay at home mum, which means that I'm told I am not doing enough to provide for my son. It's almost as if it's socially unacceptable and considered lazy for a single mum to stay at home with her child, and I have found myself trying to justify it to others on many occasions.

When I browse through Online parenting forums, I see people get attacked, simply for stating their own personal choice when it comes to raising their own children. Breast versus bottle, disposable versus cloth nappies, discipline, day care, stay at home versus go back to work, the list of debatable and controversial topics is endless.

How many times have you been at the shops when your toddler decides to throw the mother of all tantrums? You can see the judgemental eyes of passer bys (thankfully also some sympathetic eyes too). Maybe you even receive a nasty comment or two about controlling your child.

When did it all come to this? When did we all become so judgemental? Why is it that we always think that our way is the right way?

I will let you in on a little secret. Before I had my Munchkin, I was someone who easily passed judgement, though I was never one to voice it. “Each to their own” has always been my motto. I don’t see the point in starting an argument, or making another mother feel inferior just for the sake of voicing my opinion.

I now have a much more accepting view. We are all just doing the best we can. Motherhood is a tough gig, and it doesn’t matter if you are a first time mother, or if you have five children, dealing with a tantrum in the confectionary isle at the supermarket is stressful, and embarrassing.

We all need to really think before we comment, whether that is out in public, or online on a parenting page. Each of us is simply trying to do the best we can, and we all cope differently, so we need to cut each other some slack and instead of judging, offer some kind words or even just an empathetic smile. It will make all the difference to that Mum, trust me.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of judgement? Are you a reformed judger? (thats totally a word yes?)

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