Week 1 ~ 52 Weeks to Simplify your Life

As I've said in many of posts thus far 2012 is a fresh slate for us

So when Deb from Home Life Simplified created an amazing challenge

52 weeks to simplify your life I jumped on the bandwagon!

This challenge fits perfectly with our fresh start so here we go!

you can read all the details if you click on the links above

Week #1 Challenge: Create a list of everything that went “right” in 2011

*Watching Master J and Lil C get closer and closer everyday

*Returning to work

*Master Js speech going to the next level

*Master J finally starting to ask "why" about everything

*Cohen taking his 1st steps

*Starting a fresh at Christmas time

*Finding friends in amazing places

*Nurturing 2 of my most important friendships with Miss Em and Miss Lauren

*Friendship dates with Miss Jodie

*Learning how strong I really am

*Uncovering my love of cooking

*Really getting the hang and loving Meal Planning

*Developing a closer relationship with my "adopted" mumma

(my mums friend who I can go to whenever I need as my mum is living in the USA)

*Getting down to pre Lil C weight

*Meeting a man that is understanding and caring

*Returning to blogging

*Finally learning to stand up for myself a little bit more

*Taking a huge leap and applying for TAFE

*Inspiring people with my cooking and crafting

*Finding my crafty bug

*Master J getting accepted into early pre-entry Kindy!

(due to his speech)

*Getting closer with my nana, aunty and little cousins

*Creating new traditions and actually sticking to them

*being able to take 13 months maternity leave to be at home with my boys

(I was only able to take 3 months with master J so this was HUGE for me)

This was a hard task for me 2011 was not a good year for us

It was full of ups and downs and they were quite extreme

But looking at this list I think I've found the good in most of our situations.

Now to start thinking about Week 2s challenge

Define your personal values

I think this is going to be another difficult one but I shall give it my best.

If you like this idea of this whole concept dont forget to jump over to

Home Life Simplified

and join in

Love is in the air

and it makes me smile... alot

I havn't felt this happy in a long time

Amongst the bad days I am given yet another reason to smile

The beginning is always the most exciting...

The butterflies I feel when I'm about to see him

The anticipation of waiting to hear from him

The smiles when he says something sweet

The tingle when I'm kissed or cuddled

The fun in planning the next date or the next time I will see him

The excitement of it being fresh and new

We have so much in common yet are so different

and it seems to work perfectly

It's very early days and things have leaped forward to where we are now

but it feels so right

What society thinks is "appropriate" seems to not matter

He talks in whens not ifs

We are both on the same page

We have both been upfront and its worked

He makes me feel safe

Makes me feel beautiful and confident

I can talk to him about my insecurities about us

Insecurities that aren't there but have come about because of my past

and he understands, he dosen't run!

Thats HUGE! he helps me so much already.

One day we will meet each others children

but for now its about building us and having fun.

We have huge hurdles to cross in the near future

one we have already jumped together and come out the otherside relatively unscathed

But if we can get through them still in one piece

It was meant to be.

The days ahead look fun and bright

full of laughter, love and smiles...

So many smiles.

The Pinterest Make Me Challenge - Christmas Wreath

This week I'm linking up with the 2 gorgeous ladies

Blossom Heart & Coffee Drinking Mummy to Five

who are behind the awesome new linky the

Pinterest is awesome for inspiration even more so when you're a wee bit crafty

well even if you're not actually!

So with Christmas not that far away and decorating in full swing in my little house

I made my own version of a Christmas Ribbon Wreath

*image source Pinterest

All you need is a wire coathanger and some christmas ribbon or ribbon in your Christmas Theme

Im doing a red, green and silver/white them this year

All you have to do is undo the hook part and bend the coathanger into a circle of a size you're happy with.

Cut the ribbon into lengths that suit you and then tie in knots or bows around the coathanger circle

Keep adding ribbon until its full and your happy.

and then voila!

One Christmas Wreath in your Christmas theme to hang on the door!

Easy peasy right?

If you dont link the ribbon look why not try Coffee Drinking Mummy to Fives Pinterest inspired Christmas wreaths

or

one of these...

Have you made anything off Pinterest lately?

Dont forget to link up or comment on Blossom Hearts post if you have

It never rains it pours

Today has been a torential down pour of crap

There is no other way of saying it.

I have had so many good days that it was inevitable that I would stumble across a pretty shitty day.

And thats ok

I am only human, my situation is nothing new

So Im allowed to have a shitty day

It allows me to wake up tomorrow full of sunshine, rainbows and lollipops.

This situation dosen't come with instructions or rules

It seems to come with alot of expectations from others

But the only expectation I had was we would be civil for the boys sake

and so would the people closest to us

It seems that half of that expectation was a little high

and let me tell you

lesson learnt!

Things are far from perfect between us

we are still arguing and bickering

and thats not what ither of us want

I feel like its just the natural progression of the situation

I just wish other people wouldn't get involved

It makes it worse

Thinking about it now the other expectation I had would be things would remain the same between

certain circles

and I have learnt the hard way that, that too was an expectation that was way too high

Although to me It's nothing I wouldn't have expected if it was someone else in the same situation

But I guess thats just me?

One of the biggest things I've learn't through out this spilt is

I am differnt

The way I have handled things seems to be left of centre for most

The way I think about what has happened is completely differnt to others

The way I see things is not how others see it

The things I know I need seem to be nothing like what other people think I need

I'm undecided on wether being differnt in this situation is a good thing or not

But at the end of the day

I have to ask myself

Do I really want to be, think or feel like everyone else?

Pretty sure Taylor swift is onto something here

Or is staying true to myself the best way to overcome this and come out stronger at the end?

So I guess the answer is pretty clear right?...

I am who I am take it or leave it

I can't and won't change

because there are people out there that really do Love me for me.

I may lose friends, I may lose respect, I may even lose family

But whatever happens, happens I cant change fate

All is not lost thought I will

Find new friends, gain a new found respect from others and become closer to other family

Life Isn't easy and you have to overcome hundreds of obstacles throughout

How you handle them and how you come out of them is what really matters

One day again soon

things will go back to normal I know thats true

Its just trying to wade through all the shit days and focus on the good that is draining

But as Katy Perry says in her song Firework

"If only knew what the future holds

After a hurricane comes a rainbow"

My rainbow is coming...

*image from pinterest

Why I disappeared with no warning...

For those of you who may have noticed my absense

Never fear I am still here ;)

I have had a few issues going on that I have had to deal with and in all honesty my motivation for most things went out the window.

But now we are finding our groove again.

I wanted to blog a little about what has happened mainly to help me wrap my head around it a little more and open up the lines of communication for tips and advice.

The biggest reason as to why I havnt been around is because I have recently become a single mother.

My ex partner & I spilt after 8 years

Its been an up & down kind of 8 years but this time it all feels differnt.

I am truly fine about it all

Its been a long time coming and I think i'm handling it well

I have to really for the boys sake.

I think it helps that Mr S and I are getting along relatively well and keeping it amicable

which i am soooo grateful for!

So the past few weeks I have been trying to slip into the full time single mum of 2 role

which has been quite difficult but at the same time a breath of fresh air

But didn't leave much time as I worked out where to from here.

the answer was obviously Onwards and Upwards

I have a new found patience and my house is actually staying clean lol

Its given me the opportunity to get things done that i had been putting off as i try and keep myself busy

Im also trying new things

The boys and I are eating at the table more, Im decluttering like crazy!

and the biggest thing?

Im going back to work

Which now that I really dont have a choice, I'm excitied about.

Ive been cooking up huge meals and freezing them, budgeting more then ever and organising ahead as much as I can.

It is still very early days and Master J is taking it quite badly

which is my biggest priority at the momment

But I am feeling good and things are starting to fall back into place

Im looking forward to my new journey and even finding me, Tara again

I love being a mummy but somewhere along the way I got lost

its time to find me again

So i can shine and be he best mummy I could possibly be.

So consider me back... again!

Respect

When a baby is born there is always the talk of what the grandparents and significant members of the family will be called, by the child once old enough to talk.

In our family we have the normal nana and grandma, poppa and grandpa

There is 3 beautiful Auntys, 3 Uncles and lots of Cousins.

So they are norm right? Most families have those family members.

However we have alot of other family that are all very close to our boys.

Such as our aunts and uncles, our nanas and grandpas and our cousins.

We didnt really think too much about wether our boys needed to call them by anything other then their name or nickname.

For me it was a given that they would have the same respect for our extended family as they do for the rest of the family.

So our boys call our Auntys, Aunty too, they call my nana - nanny and so forth

When it comes to our cousins we just go with whatever comes out at the time

nicknames, full names whatever is said

But I think in the long run I would love for them to be called Aunty or Uncle ... too.

In my family its a sign of respect and authority.

My step 2nd cousins call me aunty thats how its been since they could talk

I love it, it makes me feel resepcted and very much part of their family.

I want the same for our cousins and extended family.

I want our boys to know they are important people in our lives and that we love, respect and hold them in high regard.

I think it also helps build a better relationship with other family members

It helps them to know they are surrounded by people they can trust and talk to if they need to.

Respect to older family members is huge to me so its a quality I feel my children need to have too

Its a stepping stone of life and in turn

will hopefully help teach respect for themselves and others

*image

Do you have family members or friends that your children call Aunty or Uncle etc?

How else do you help instill respect into your children?

Return of the Mumma

new beginnings, time to blossom

Its been just under 2 weeks since I decided to take a Semi Blogging Break

I was hurt and confused and new this was just what I needed to do.

I am so glad I took this time

I have acheived so much and feel so much better about things.

Blogging for me is about connecting with other people.

Embracing the mothering/life journey that I am on and sharing it with the world

BUT

I was starting to want more

I was starting to want instant success

Instant amazing posts that everyone raved about

(ok so i might be being extreme there but I was thinking similair thoughts)

and quite frankly I overwhelmed myself.

Being honest I was trying to post once a day

It was something I had noticed seemed to work amazingly for others

But you know what?

It dosent work for ME

I was getting anxious and angry if I couldnt find the time
I am up against a small group of people who do not like me & its hard to be in the same "circle" especially when they are "working" together

I was missing out on living in the momment because I was always thinking about blogging

I was scared that if I didnt post frequently like others I would be forgotten.

But really its ok

I know that no matter what my children are way more important then anything I have to write

I know I wont be forgotten because the people who really do enjoy my writing will always be here no matter when or how often I blog.
I now realise how much support I have and its given me a little more confidence

As the gorgeous Nathalie of Easy Peasy Kids says

"quality over quantity"

Blogging every day is way to much for me.

I have to many other things I want to do

I want to get out doors more with the boys

These warmer months are going to be differnt for our family i just know it

I want to start AND finish some craft projects I've found on Pinterest

I want to do more of Scrapbooking and even dabble in card making

I also want to dabble in party planning and decorating

I am a little hesitant in this one as I feel like im stepping on one of the most gorgeous ladies I know toes

and I dont want to hurt a frienship

So its one Im just holding close to me heart and seeing what happens

I want to cook more!
I have a huge list of new kitchen appliances I need in my kitchen

and I want to lose myself in there

I want to Organise more

I have so many little organising projects that I would love to get done around the house and in my life

As you can I want to acheive alot of things.

Blogging every day just isnt one of them

Keeping up with one a day is just too exhausting

I love blogging i really do but I think its time for me to cut it down to blogging whenever I have a post

Whenever I can get a few minutes to write one

It might be as little as my 2 posts a week

But it wont be as much as one a day.

I'll be finding a happy medium which allows me to blog, craft, organise and most importantly

spend time with my family.

So yes I am back WOOHOO

My posts wont be full time, they wont be witty or fluently written
they wont be proffessional like I just cant write like any of those things

But they will be real

Which is just how It needs to be

Thankyou to every single person who supported in my blogging break decison

and for all of those who will continue to support me

I truly am grateful and feel very special

Hurting and needing time to heal

This is a post I dont want to write

Its one I havn't taken lightly

But its one I have to do.

After recent events in my life that have been hard for me to deal with

In which my child has now been blogged about in a negative light

I will be stopping blogging "often" until I feel comfortable again.

I am hurt beyond comprehension that my 3yo has been the centre of these negative comments

especially from someone I once trusted and loved.

But I just feel like I am not protecting him enough from the evil real world by being here.

I wish no ill on the persons involved I really dont

Im going to assume they were angry, i mean thats no excuse but I know what they are like

I just hope they realise what they have said is not ok

NOT true and that I am hurt

wether they care or not it hurt alot

I will still be on Twitter and on my Facebook page and Pinterest

I am also thinking I will still post my weekly meal plans and my positive/good posts every monday

You cant get rid of me that easily ;)

But i think thats all I have in me.

There may be one or two posts, I'm happy to guest post if anyone needs any help

I just cant committ to regular posts anymore

I need to put myself and my family first.

I dont want to do this and honestly I shouldn't have to

But I'am hurting

I need time to heal

I hope you all understand and I thank every single one for you on here twitter and FB

for your amazing support

It really means the world to me.

Embracing the good

**image

Ok so no secret I've been rather blue lately

I blame the weather and the chain of events that happend from putting myself first.

Add money, end of maternity leave, silly little things going wrong and too many ideas, not enough time

and it makes for one miserable mumma.

Where it really shouldn't be making me glum.

I finally reached a point yesterday where I said, enough!

There is no need to be this miserable

BUT

how do I get myself out of it?

Where do I start?

Who do I talk to?

The answer to the last question was easy, the gorgeous Naomi of Seven Cherubs

Someone I trust even though we've never met, someone I respect.

I put all these "issues" forward to her

Im sure she thinks I'm a drama queen ;)

And her reply was simple but powerful!

Feeling like this is perfectly normal

Maybe I'm looking for the negatives thats why I feel like thats all thats happening to us

and

Maybe I need to lower my expectations and think about the things that happen differntly.

I read her reply email a few times

each time agreeing more and more

Naomi thought maybe her words wouldn't help me

but they helped more then expected!

This mummy of 7 cherubs was completely right

The only way to change my mood was to change my thinking.

The silly thing is I believe all those types of quotes yet I havn't been living them out..

      **image                            **image

But It's always easy to believe then actually apply it to your life right?

Or is that just me :|

Yesterday the sun was shininng we had clear blue skys

so i bundled my babes, the pram and Master J's Cars bike

and took them down to the beach.

We walked and he rode and we sat at the playground in the sunshine

and I pondered

I pondered Naomis words

How was I going to change all this negativity that seems to be consuming our lives.

Seeing as I cant change the weather

I need to change my attitude

Its time to...

*no image credit found

It's time to find the good in every situation.

The good in every day.

My babes are a given good, every day they make me happy, no question

Its finding the good in the rest of my life.

And what better way to do that then to blog about it.

Now of course life has ups & downs, good & bad

But i think I'm focusing more on the negatives then the positives

and this is what this will be all about

foucsing on the positives

having them all in one spot, out in the open

so if I start to feel like im slipping back to the negatives

I can see all the wonderful, amazing things I really do have going on in my life.

I've decided that every Monday

well hopefully

I will post about all the good positive things I found in my last week.

At least 1 for every day with pictures and quotes.

I started finding yesterday and i will Blog it a week from tomrrow so i get the full weeks worth.

This way I am comitted to finding the good and I hope you will all hold me to it too.

And if Im up for it I'll post a status on the Mum-ments Facebook page with one good thing from my day.

I would love to see what good everyone else finds in there day :)

Its time to change

Its time to...

**image

I have to send the biggest thankyou to Naomi

I am almost a complete stranger to her, yet she found the time in her busy life to give me her perspective.

and for this I am truly grateful

Somtimes an outsiders ideas, thoughts and views are all we need to kick start ourselves.

Do you Love your life?

This question popped up at me the other day.
Do you love your life?

Simple answer NO I dont love parts of my life
More in depth answer?
Well here we go!

I cam across a status on one of my favourite FB pages
From someone who I admire, look up to and respect so very much.

Her status was simple.

"LOVE my life xxx"

How could she not love her life
After all she has been through she is finally living out her dream,
and doing a damn fine job at it too!
I could not be happier for her

But I envy her for my own selfish reasons
I want my dreams to come true too
I just have no idea where to start or even what they all are.

I read that status about 3 times
Each time feeling a pang of guilt
I dont love my life, well for the most part, and that straight out sucks.

I love being a mother more then anything
Some days are really hard others are just pure bliss but i know
I was put on this Earth to be a mother, to be a mother to these boys.
I love I am able to be a SAHMummy, that I even have this opportunity, twice even.
This is the part of my life I DO love.

There are many parts of my life that i wish could be better or differnt
Only i can change these I know that
but it dosent make it any easier trying to figure out how to change those things.

There is something missing.
I dont know what it is but I am on a mission to find out.

Before I had my babes I worked full time in one of the bigger supermarkets
I was heading towards a career with them
I decided that my babies would come next though.
A decsion I do NOT regret
It was absolutly the right one.

Before working I studied Community Services and Youth Work
Both I was good at nither of which interest me anymore.

I love to help people
I love to organise
I absolutly loved planning and decorating Master Js 3rd Birthday Party
and I have loved learning all these interesting things about his speech and behaviour.

There is defiantly a few things I could I do around the things I love
I just have so many dreams and desires
I just dont know where to start or what to do :|

I have never been the type of person where great things have fallen in my lap
I have always had to put blood sweat and tears into everything I have ever wanted
and thats ok by me
It gives me a sense of accomplishment
I can say I did it on my own.
This will be no differnt.
I hope this time though more opportunitys arise to make the decison a little easier
Only leaving me with the hard work required to succeed.

I know the universe will guide me in the direction I'm meant to be heading
I believe whole heartdly it will show me what I am supposed to do alongside being a mummy
We have already made one decsion regarding me returning to work
and I hope that in itself opens a few new doors.

In the mean time I will follow my one true love of mothering
Walk this path with passion and joy
Love the momment
For now I will love with my everything that part of my life

One day I will love my life completely not just part of it

One day I too will be living out my dreams.

One day I will have the life I dream of for my family

Its a Bird! No its a plane...

No its SuperMum!

*image

Who? Me? really?

Over the past few months I've had a few people call me "supermum"

and in all honesty I really dont know how to take it.

I get offened sometimes, mainly just brush it off and say thanks

not sure what im thanking them for but it seems like the right thing to say.

I dont see myself as a "supermum"

I am a mum

I cook, i clean, i bath

I teach, I cuddle, I wipe bums

I Laugh, I giggle, I Cry

I rock babies, pat backs and tuck sheets in

I keep them warm and content and happy

But dont all mums?

I guess some of the people who have made this comment are saying it in the nicest way

with the nicest intentions because they see how much i do on a daily basis

But i dont think its any more then some.

I would say yes its more the most

 but im sure there mummas out there doing more and kudos to them i say!

I am a mum 1st

A partner

A housewife

A friend

I Blog

I have a small FB business

I have a FB addiction

 siiigh yes its true but im getting better ;)

I plan and organsie

We go to playgroup once a week

and

We go to speech therapy once a week

Daycare is twice a week and kindy will start in the new year

And quite possibly i shall be going back to work in august.

But none of that makes me extraordinary.

That makes me a mum, that makes me, me!

So where does the "super" come from?

I have the choice to stop pretty much half of that list at any time and somedays i do nothing

I mean nothing no housework no blogging no crafting

I sit in a messy lounge room relaxing & playing with the boys

But most of the time i am doing something.

My mind runs a million miles an hour with ideas or planning

that i wish i could stop its exhuasting

But its who i am, I am busy

If I stop, I over think, I get down, I start to beat myself up.

Its easier and I'm alot happier if im doing something for my boys, something productive,

something i can feel good about,

something i can be proud of.

If your calling me a "supermum" because im a mum

then awesome i'll wear that title with pride because

us mummas are ALL supermums

But if you're calling me a "supermum" because i had a crazy busy day

and still cooked a homecooked meal for my family, or im blogging or crafting then i kindly ask you not too.

I am no better, no more "super" then the next mum

I'm only a "super" mum because I am a mum.
Just like YOU are a "super" mum because you are a mum too.
No-one has super powers like a mumma
So lets all be "super" mums together

Tears, mumma bear angry & breathing again.

After days, weeks, months and years,

I still feel like an outsider.

What do I have to do to be worth their acceptance?

There is bitchyness behind backs, favouritism, secret gatherings.

Plans are made we are not thought of.

Well until last minute then we/I are an after thought.

Not a nice feeling

There is vindictivness, sublte but it's there, i see it like a red flag.

My children miss out the most.

My heart breaks for them

I cry for them

I dont want them to suffer the same feelings I have all my life.

I want them to fit in I want them to be accepted.

I don't want them treated like they are a chore or an imposition.

They are blood I am not

Yet it means nothing.

You dont like me? Fine! firstly tell me but dont take it out on my boys.

They want nothing more to be loved, to be treated the same.

It's starting to affect me more then it ever has before.

I dont trust the words anymore, i get anxious if we ever are involved in something.

I get angry, mother bear angry!

I want to pack my boys up and disappear away from it all.

Would they miss us? I don't think so i really don't

I want them to hurt the way i hurt.

I want them to see what they are doing because honestly i dont think they even realise.

Voicing this is not an option

It would lead to more of the above and im already dealing with more then i can handle.

More then anyone is capable of dealing with.

What does it take to add myself to their circle.

To stop the judgement and gain the friendship.

They are no better then me i "know" this

Yet they make me feel worthless.

The thought of what is being said behind my back is enough to send me to tears.

I am anxious enough to not want to post this,

I can't even fathom the reaction if one of them stumbled across it.

yes not even my blog is a safe place anymore,

yet i need to get it out there.

I'm over trying

I don't have any more fight in me.

I wont be holding my breath in anticpation any longer

whats the point I'm already turning blue

enoughs enough.

I need my breath back

I need to breath life into myself and my children again

Give them everything they aren't getting from who should be giving it to them.

Thought i would join up with the lovely Glowless and Flog My Blog

well this post as this post will never make it to FB

*edited so i could add the funky FYBF icon

Discipline, a new way of thinking perhaps?

Since attending speech therapy with Master J

I have learnt so much about rasing a child.

Not just one with a developmental delay any child.

Now im not here to judge and say your parenting style is wrong

Gosh i wouldnt dream of it

This is simply what i have learnt and what now works for us.

Aside from the way we have learnt to better commincate with our boys

We are now in the process of learning how to discipline them in a differnt way.

I have realised that for our family the traditonal "Time out" or the "naughty step"

just isn't going too work for us.

Shutting them away in their room or excluding them so they are alone shows them we have no idea how to handle their behaviour let alone their feelings.

Telling them to "not come out until you can behave" or "until you are happy"

just seems crazy

My 3yo would dosent understand that nor would he know how to change his behaviour just because we want him too

He would be left feeling even more upset and confused.

However a differnt kind of "Time out"

may just work.

The time out where you walk away for 5 mins to breathe

Obviously making sure your child is safe first!

To collect yourself and your thoughts and how you will handle the situation.

To remember the phrase

"I am bigger, stronger, wiser and kind"

We all know we can all get quite frazzled when children tantrum or are doing something they really sholdnt be

So taking a time out for yourself and even the child is benefical.

So i have taken a "time out" i have walked away and counted to 10, collected my thoughts, repeated the phrase and i am calm (enough)

I can now come back to them and we can focus on what's happened.

If they are upset still

I will take charge so they dont feel too out of control

Find a nice calm place to sit and be and let thoughts and feelings change

Do something differnt, read for a few mintutes, cuddle or even colour

Talk calmly

Help find the words for the feelings they are experiencing and talk about how it made me feel.

Most importantly i stay there until they are calm (enough)

Once they are calm enough

we can commincate and i can find out whats really going, what they are feeling.

I will give him the words for what they are feeling, i will support them in taking resposibility for his part

there will be no blaming another.

And we will talk out loud about a differnt way of handing the problem next time.

They may not understand at that very momment what i am saying but it will help in the long run.

image from here

I started thinking about this and applying it too our lives

and i started thinking about discipline at school.

The "withdrawl rooms" "time outs" and "detentions"

I have decided i am not ok with this

I dont think i want my boys being excluded into a room where they are not learning why they are there.

Simply being told "no you can not do this" or "you didn't do your homework"

Is not allowing them to understand why, it shows them they can not handle their behaviour

and that the easiest way to do that is to send them away.

I know there is no alternative but for me being an involved parent to the point of being called down to the school to discuss what has happened is a better alternative to isolation.

I want to work with the school

Find out the real reason behind why they did whatever they did.

I want to let them know its not ok what happened and help them to understand why they felt they had to do it, to understand what they were thinking and what emotions they were feeling.

Some of you may be reading this going but hang on how will your child learn right from wrong.

And thats a good question

They will learn from experience and from my self and partner talking to them.

Teaching them without sending them away

It may seem like a soft approach but words are powerful.

A child needs to understand something before they learn it.

Master J struggles alot with his feelings and not understanding why

So this method will give us alot of support in heping him to understand.

The biggest thing i need to remember that no matter how i feel my boys still need me.

As I said there is no right or wrong way to parenting

This is just what i feel is going to work in my house for my children

So, what are your thoughts on discipline?

And what works in your house?

Please remember no judging we are all in this together.

And what is right for one is not always right for another and that is perfectly OK!



Name it baby

I was speaking to my good friend Miss Lauren of  Lollipops, Lilies and Jellybeans

about names of people and how it seems certain people with the same name are very much the same

and it got me thinking

Do names influence our personality, looks and traits

Ok so that sounds totally stupid but hear me out!

image from here

When I fell pregnant with Master J we said from day 1 if he was a boy he would be called Joshua.

And thats exactly what he was named.

Now people everywhere! said

"Oh Joshua, hes going to be a handful"

or

"all the Joshuas i know are naughty little boys"

and if we are being honest

My Joshua is no angel!

So is he a little ratty because his name is Joshua just like all the other Joshuas'?

It's got me thinking anway lol

Or what about my name Tara

when I was named I was the only blonde hair blue eyed Tara around

All the rest were brown eyed with brown hair.

Even to this day i dont come across many blonde haired blue eyed Taras

and i am currently sporting brown hair hmmm?

What about Lily?

Lauren was told when she had chosen the name Lily for her little girl

that this person had never met a "bad" Lily.

I think It's a given that certain names will trigger bad and good responses in people

especially when naming a child.

There are hundreds of names and we come across thousands of people in a life time

But somehow does the universe have something to do with everyones name

and the personalitys and traits of these people?

Or is just the way we subconciously raise our children after associating certain things to a name?

So yes does that mean I've "raised" Joshie to be "naughty"

but only because of the image asscociated with the name Joshua?

I swear im not going crazy nither is Lauren haha

and all children are beautiful and amazing regardless of their name

But it certainly gave us something to think about

and we can defaintly place similarities in people we know with the same name

I wonder if there's any research on this?

What do you think? Do you know people with the same name and are they the same in personality?

Or did you consider the "stigma" assocaited with some names when naming your children?

Or do you think Lauren and myself should be sent off to the loony bin?

It's more then a number game...

Do you ever get to a point where you want to delete everything from your life?

You know like facebook, blogger, twitter?

I do plenty

Im there right now

Why you ask?

Because people are way too consumed with themselves

Thats the simple way of putting it.

Since leaving high school i have struggled to find me.

Who i am what im good at that no-one else is good at

Something that people will go, oh go ask Tara something people admire me for.

It seems there is always someone trying to steal my shine!

Wether it be blogging, or meal planning, being organised

or

the worst one, the biggest one, the one that drives this post 

my facebook business.

I cant stand it

Why can they just not let ME have my momment?

Why cant they just let me Shine?

Im not going to get into stupid petty fights about it

I am smart enough and mature enough to know i did NOT create any of the ideas i had for my business

for my blog, for meal planning and organising

the point is out of X amount of certain people i felt like i had done it first.

( i know there will be people reading this going no you didnt, & why do you care simple as i do care it hurts)

But then my idea was ripped away from me and someone else got the spotlight.

Yes yes i know

Imatation is the sincerest form of flattery

But to who? because i sure as dont like it!

Life seems to be one big competition

one big game of numbers

image from here

How many people can i get on my business page, how many likers can i get on my blog or Blog FB page

I wont deny it i was like this a little while ago

But i've since seent he light

Who cares how many people you have on a page or readers of a blog

Because think about it, really think about it!

Out of say 1000 likers how many buy your products

Out of 162 Blog FB page likers how many read your posts and interact with you?

Dont get me wrong i am grateful for the amount of likers i have on all my pages

But i wouldnt lose any sleep if i didnt gain anymore.

Ok yes i know the more you get out there the more promoting you do the bigger oportunites you can gain

I guess i believe that if anything was meant to be

 It will happen regardless of what you do or dont do to help it.

I'm happy to take it slow these days and just let it happen when It's meant too.

My main goal now is to interact with as many of my exisiting likers and followers

If new ones pop in awesome but i want them to come off their own back,

because they like what i sell, they like what i type, they like what i have to say.

I joined the forum on FB pages yep its true

but for me it was to find more blogs to follow.

They are all in one spot FANTASTIC makes life so much easier

BUT

I won't follow a million blogs or like thousands of FB business pages

if im not interested in reading them or buying from them.

Whats the point all it does is clog up my newsfeed.

I guess you could see it as organising my blog and FB life.

Reading back over this it sounds harsh and somewhat hypocritical

But everyone makes a new choice somewhere which contradicts their past 

But its all about growth and realisation.

I have just reached that point.

Hopefully this decison and this change gives me the chance to shine

For it to finally be all about me

Selfish? no i dont think so

We all deserve to have something that is just about us!

Life is too short to worry about numbers and to rush trying to get to "where you want to be"

Im just going to sit back and go with the flow

ride that rollercoaster and see what happens.