Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Meal Planning Tuesday & Pastie Pie recipe...

Tuesday again!

Heres this weeks yumminess

Wednesday - Chicken fried rice
Thursday - Porcupines
Friday -  Chicken Pie
Saturday - beef and red wine casserole in the slow cooker
Sunday - Roast Chicken and roast vegies
Monday - massman curry in the slow cooker
Tuesday - bolognese with gnocchi  and/or ravioli

Pastie Pie
500gms mince
puff pastry
1 carrott
2 potatos
handful of beans
small bit of pumpkin
small piece of sweet potato
1 stalk of celery
2 florets of brocoli
3 mushrooms
1 beef stock cube
1tsp curry powder
2tsp corn flour
2tsp water

Dice all vegies into small pieces

Brown mince and add crumbled up beef stock cube
add all vegies
and cook for 5 mins
add corn flour, curry powder and water
mix well and cook for another 10-15mins stiring so it dosent stick

Line baking or pie dish with puff pastry  and fill with meat mixture
add a top layer and prick or put a slice in the top
brush with milk
and cook in oven at 180-200o for 30 mins or until golden brown
Serve on own or with tomato sauce

What's cooking in your kitchen this week?

what more inspiration?
head over to The Organised Housewife where you can find Kats weekly meal plan too
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Sunday, June 26, 2011

Baby sitting & Mothers guilt

We all know the general idea of mothers guilt
I feel it just as many mothers do
My biggest guilt trip is when it comes to having my boys baby sat.

Im writing this becase i need a break
not just a hubby takes the boys for a few hours or put them in childcare break
no I'm in desperate need of an over night mummy gets to sleep in,
 and can potter around during the day with no distractions type break.

Just writing that has already given me the guilts!

Why should I "need" a break from my children
Why cant I be the "perfect" mother and have "happy smiling" children.
Why cant i just suck it up & mother them 24/7
There are plenty of mums out there who dont have a baby sitting option at all
If they can do it why cant I?

The fact that i "need" a break is enough to make me cry, it makes me feel like im failing
But the thought of asking someone to look after them sends me into hysterics.

I dont even remember the last time one of my boys was away from me "just because."

Master J had a sleepover the night before we were induced with Lil C
Lil C is almost 10 months old :|

They were both looked after for most of a day so i could attend a market for my FB business
but their dad picked them up after work.

They are the last 2 times they were looked after
and both times it was for a reason.
both times I felt like i had asked too much.

I guess I look at it like
I chose to have my babies
So why should i ask someone else to look after them?
They are my partners and I responsibility, no-one elses.
I feel like they are all thinking if she didn't want to look after her kids why did she have them

I want to be a mother who can ask family for some help
I only need it every now and then
I dont want them looked after 100 times a week
once or twice a month would be fabulous
Just so Mr S & I can work on our realtionship
a date night would be heaven
Gees a dinner/lunch date and we pick the kids up after would be amazing.

I just cant ask though.
I cant bring myself to ask someone to take responsibility for my children just because i need a break.
I dont want to be made to feel like i am placing a "burden" upon them by asking.
I dont want there to be conditions of them being taken care of
Why should there be?
It dosen't help that no-one is willing to look after Master J
No-one can "handle" him
But you know what some days I cant ither
Somedays he is so full on that I cant do anything but pay him attention until Lil C needs me
or he is distracted by something.
All of which is buring me out
All of which is why I need some respite.

I know I need to do something the right intentions are there, on my behalf
but by not taking that huge step and asking
my boys are missing out
They are missing out on building relationships with grandparents and auntys
With cousins and family.

They are starting to become trapped in my little bubble
because of how im made to feel about things.

Which of course just adds to this mothers guilt.

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*image from here

Getting organised - PJ Station

So i may like to be organised
its no secret.
Sometimes im not and they are the times i feel completely out of control.
I join lots of orgainsing sites
one of them being
Jade has the most fabulous ideas and tips.

One of her awesome ideas was an Errand Station
another was a Summer Station

My Pigeon Pair took inspirtaion from Jades Summer Station and created a Winter station

And i have now taken inspirtaion from both lovely ladies
and created a PJ station for my boys.

The Pj Station is a basket of after bath essentials
which are all together and can be put popped into the basket whenever you get a spare sec during the day.

Our PJ station has..

A gorgeous blue and white polka dot basket from "The Warehouse"

Inside the basket we have...

1 x nappy for Master J
set of Pjs
Singlet and pair of socks
1 x nappy for Lil C
romper or pjs
singlet and pair of socks
1 tub of normal Vicks for their feet
1 tub of Vicks Baby Balsam for their chest & back

Once the boys are in the bath, with dad supervising
I just pull this basket out and turn the heater on.

I use to get all this ready whilst they were in the bath or even earlier and that worked just fine
except i had no where to put it except on the top of the couch.
Having it all in a basket means i can keep it all together on a shelf in our bookcase
and whip it out in a few seconds.
Which is defaintly what we need when struggling with 2 slippery, tired little boys
right in the middle of feral o'clock.

Do you have any little tricks or methods that make a huge difference in the running of your day?

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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Tears, mumma bear angry & breathing again.

After days, weeks, months and years,
I still feel like an outsider.

What do I have to do to be worth their acceptance?

There is bitchyness behind backs, favouritism, secret gatherings.
Plans are made we are not thought of.
Well until last minute then we/I are an after thought.
Not a nice feeling
There is vindictivness, sublte but it's there, i see it like a red flag.

My children miss out the most.
My heart breaks for them
I cry for them
I dont want them to suffer the same feelings I have all my life.
I want them to fit in I want them to be accepted.
I don't want them treated like they are a chore or an imposition.

They are blood I am not
Yet it means nothing.
You dont like me? Fine! firstly tell me but dont take it out on my boys.
They want nothing more to be loved, to be treated the same.

It's starting to affect me more then it ever has before.
I dont trust the words anymore, i get anxious if we ever are involved in something.
I get angry, mother bear angry!
I want to pack my boys up and disappear away from it all.
Would they miss us? I don't think so i really don't

I want them to hurt the way i hurt.
I want them to see what they are doing because honestly i dont think they even realise.

Voicing this is not an option
It would lead to more of the above and im already dealing with more then i can handle.
More then anyone is capable of dealing with.

What does it take to add myself to their circle.
To stop the judgement and gain the friendship.

They are no better then me i "know" this
Yet they make me feel worthless.
The thought of what is being said behind my back is enough to send me to tears.
I am anxious enough to not want to post this,
I can't even fathom the reaction if one of them stumbled across it.
yes not even my blog is a safe place anymore,
yet i need to get it out there.

I'm over trying
I don't have any more fight in me.
I wont be holding my breath in anticpation any longer
whats the point I'm already turning blue
enoughs enough.
I need my breath back
I need to breath life into myself and my children again
Give them everything they aren't getting from who should be giving it to them.

Thought i would join up with the lovely Glowless and Flog My Blog
well this post as this post will never make it to FB
*edited so i could add the funky FYBF icon

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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Meal Planning Tuesday

Tuesday again? really?

This week in my kitchen we are having...

Wednesday - Lasagne and garlic bread
Thursday - Enchiladas
Friday - hot chicken rolls
Saturday - Homemade pizzas
Sunday - Homemade chicken nuggets and roast vegies
Monday - Beef Teruyaki stirfry and noodles
 (we didnt have it last week)
Tuesday - Pastie Pie

Whats on the menu at your house this week?

for my insportaion head on over to The Organised Housewife

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Boarding Passes for the 3rd birthday Please

As you may know Master J turned 3 on Friday
His party was held Sunday.
And what a day it was!

We gave Boofa the choice of a Cars party or a Plane party
and he kept saying plane everytime we asked so went with that.

I love planning and decorating partys
My aunty is a hug influence in that.
But trust me to chose a theme that has no "normal" decorations.
So after searching around and only finding plates and cups
I enlisted the help of the ever gorgeous Lil
Lil gave me a whole plether of pictures for ideas
and i sat down with Mr S and worked out what we wanted to go with.
No easy Job as all the ideas were amazing!

This is what we came up with...

The invitations
designed and printed by Invitations by "M"

The sweets Table

Starting from the top..

The letter J
was done by me and can be ordered over at my little craft business page

The Happy Birthday Letters
(I simply stuck the letters on the card and ribbon)
The Cupcake toppers, Labels

and the license to fly

were all designed by Invitations by "M"

The light blue suitcase, red plane and paper straws
paper planes and spinning plane decoration
(not pictured)

The cups and bottles of drdinks were wrapped in cardboard which I did myself.

The very cute plane cake

The personalised chocolates which were also used in the lolly bags

In honour of a beautiful little girl who was born 2 days before Master J
whom has sadly passed away we had a special little corner in her memory

We also had cute plane crayons in the lolly bags

Our entertainment was a super cool Rocket jumping castle!
All the kids had a ball on this

which can be hired from www.partycastles.com

even Lil C who had a little jump on the side

Master J had the best day except for one small tantrum he was smiling all day laughing, running and jumping

and of coursse absolutly spoilt rotten!

We could not have asked for a better day for our now BIG 3yo

Thankyou to all the lovely business's that helped me make this one of his most memorable birthdays
My gorgeous girls who helped with the food
And a bigger thankyou to everyone that came to help celebrate our little man turning into a big boy.

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Monday, June 20, 2011

Discipline, a new way of thinking perhaps?

Since attending speech therapy with Master J
I have learnt so much about rasing a child.
Not just one with a developmental delay any child.

Now im not here to judge and say your parenting style is wrong
Gosh i wouldnt dream of it
This is simply what i have learnt and what now works for us.

Aside from the way we have learnt to better commincate with our boys
We are now in the process of learning how to discipline them in a differnt way.

I have realised that for our family the traditonal "Time out" or the "naughty step"

just isn't going too work for us.
Shutting them away in their room or excluding them so they are alone shows them we have no idea how to handle their behaviour let alone their feelings.
Telling them to "not come out until you can behave" or "until you are happy"
just seems crazy
My 3yo would dosent understand that nor would he know how to change his behaviour just because we want him too
He would be left feeling even more upset and confused.

However a differnt kind of "Time out"
may just work.
The time out where you walk away for 5 mins to breathe
Obviously making sure your child is safe first!
To collect yourself and your thoughts and how you will handle the situation.
To remember the phrase
"I am bigger, stronger, wiser and kind"
We all know we can all get quite frazzled when children tantrum or are doing something they really sholdnt be
So taking a time out for yourself and even the child is benefical.

So i have taken a "time out" i have walked away and counted to 10, collected my thoughts, repeated the phrase and i am calm (enough)
I can now come back to them and we can focus on what's happened.

If they are upset still
I will take charge so they dont feel too out of control
Find a nice calm place to sit and be and let thoughts and feelings change
Do something differnt, read for a few mintutes, cuddle or even colour
Talk calmly
Help find the words for the feelings they are experiencing and talk about how it made me feel.
Most importantly i stay there until they are calm (enough)

Once they are calm enough
we can commincate and i can find out whats really going, what they are feeling.
I will give him the words for what they are feeling, i will support them in taking resposibility for his part
there will be no blaming another.
And we will talk out loud about a differnt way of handing the problem next time.
They may not understand at that very momment what i am saying but it will help in the long run.

image from here

I started thinking about this and applying it too our lives
and i started thinking about discipline at school.
The "withdrawl rooms" "time outs" and "detentions"
I have decided i am not ok with this
I dont think i want my boys being excluded into a room where they are not learning why they are there.
Simply being told "no you can not do this" or "you didn't do your homework"
Is not allowing them to understand why, it shows them they can not handle their behaviour
and that the easiest way to do that is to send them away.
I know there is no alternative but for me being an involved parent to the point of being called down to the school to discuss what has happened is a better alternative to isolation.

I want to work with the school
Find out the real reason behind why they did whatever they did.
I want to let them know its not ok what happened and help them to understand why they felt they had to do it, to understand what they were thinking and what emotions they were feeling.

Some of you may be reading this going but hang on how will your child learn right from wrong.
And thats a good question
They will learn from experience and from my self and partner talking to them.
Teaching them without sending them away
It may seem like a soft approach but words are powerful.

A child needs to understand something before they learn it.

Master J struggles alot with his feelings and not understanding why
So this method will give us alot of support in heping him to understand.

The biggest thing i need to remember that no matter how i feel my boys still need me.

As I said there is no right or wrong way to parenting
This is just what i feel is going to work in my house for my children

So, what are your thoughts on discipline?
And what works in your house?

Please remember no judging we are all in this together.
And what is right for one is not always right for another and that is perfectly OK!

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Friday, June 17, 2011

The things i know

I thought i would jump in head first and join in Yay For Homes 

Master J is 3 today

action shot playing with bubbles
and has come so far with his speech development
To the point every time he sees something that resembles a cake or a decoration he asks
"for my party mum?"

That throwing a party for Master J is an awesome idea
Kids love parties
but deciding to hand make all the decorations to match the theme is not so cool
when you can only work on them at night
and that the ink will always run out just before you finish printing the last of the decorations!

That Lil C
will smile through everything and i mean everything!
Bad nappy rash, teething, a yucky cold
He just flashes that gummy smile and It makes me feel less like a bad mumma

gummy smiles
That Toy Story is a winner in helping with quiet time
and a very good substitute for the 2nd scratched up Cars DVD.
yes he watches it that much we are on our 2nd one siiigh

Trust is easily broken, and if you talk behind someones back
they will always find out one way or another.

That you find amazing friends in unexpected places
and friends that are no longer can put differnces aside, well kind of for the sake of the children.

For every negative there will be a positive around the corner.

What things do you know?

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3 years ago today...

at 7:05am our 1st beautiful Prince,
 Joshua Andrew Graham
entered this world.
3 amazing years ago today i became a mummy for the first time.

Our Joshua, our Boofa
You amaze and take our breath away every day.
 We are so proud of the little boy you have become,
the big brother you are and beautiful son you will always be.
Thankyou for choosing us to be your mummy & daddy
We love you with our everything.'

Happy 3rd birthday our beautiful boy
you are amazing, don't ever forget it.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Name it baby

I was speaking to my good friend Miss Lauren of  Lollipops, Lilies and Jellybeans
about names of people and how it seems certain people with the same name are very much the same
and it got me thinking
Do names influence our personality, looks and traits
Ok so that sounds totally stupid but hear me out!

image from here

When I fell pregnant with Master J we said from day 1 if he was a boy he would be called Joshua.
And thats exactly what he was named.
Now people everywhere! said
"Oh Joshua, hes going to be a handful"
"all the Joshuas i know are naughty little boys"
and if we are being honest
My Joshua is no angel!
So is he a little ratty because his name is Joshua just like all the other Joshuas'?
It's got me thinking anway lol

Or what about my name Tara
when I was named I was the only blonde hair blue eyed Tara around
All the rest were brown eyed with brown hair.
Even to this day i dont come across many blonde haired blue eyed Taras
and i am currently sporting brown hair hmmm?

What about Lily?
Lauren was told when she had chosen the name Lily for her little girl
that this person had never met a "bad" Lily.

I think It's a given that certain names will trigger bad and good responses in people
especially when naming a child.
There are hundreds of names and we come across thousands of people in a life time

But somehow does the universe have something to do with everyones name
and the personalitys and traits of these people?
Or is just the way we subconciously raise our children after associating certain things to a name?
So yes does that mean I've "raised" Joshie to be "naughty"
but only because of the image asscociated with the name Joshua?

I swear im not going crazy nither is Lauren haha
and all children are beautiful and amazing regardless of their name
But it certainly gave us something to think about
and we can defaintly place similarities in people we know with the same name
I wonder if there's any research on this?

What do you think? Do you know people with the same name and are they the same in personality?
Or did you consider the "stigma" assocaited with some names when naming your children?
Or do you think Lauren and myself should be sent off to the loony bin?

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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Meal Planning Tuesday

So It's that time of the week again
7 days have passed and 7 yummy meals have been cooked
Now on to the next 7 meals.
You can join in too with The Organised Housewife

Wednesday - nachos with guacamole and sourcream
Thursday - Chicken, leek, muchroom and sourcream pie
Friday - teriyaki beef stirfry with noodles
Saturday - Toastie toasties
Sunday  - Is master J's 3rd birthday party so leftovers, takeaway or something very simple.
Monday - Chicken curry in the slow cooker with rice
Tuesday - Pasta bake

As you can see lots of very easy meals as we have the big 3rd birthday party i needed quick and easy meals so i can finish up all the last minute details.

So whats on your meal plan this week?

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Saturday, June 11, 2011

This week im grateful for...

...Checkout operators.
image from here
Yes you heard right!
and not because i am one myself!
Yes in between having babies, rasing toddlers and playing housewife
I work behind a checkout at one of the big supermarkets.
currently on maternity leave

Having worked on the other side
and copped abuse and nasty people
I feel for every single operator that may cross my path.
I know what its like
some days the days are long and slow
other days are busy and quick.
And yes it is so easy to lose your cool when under pressure.

Now I'm not making excuses for us
we are afterall trained in customer service and should know better
But at the end of the day we are a person just like you.
We make mistakes, we have bad days and we have excellent days.
The only difference is we have to be on our best behaviour our whole shift
regardless of our mood or how our day is going.

This week and last
I came across two amazing checkout operators at my local supermarket.
Which had just been given a massive facelift

The first was a young lady who was nrand new to the store.
I had forgotten my staff discount expired a few days ago
and hadn't gotten down to my store to pick up my new one.
So this lovely girl put through the discount they were having for the re-opening of the store
I was soooo thankfull
every little penny helps
especially when you are on a tight budget and have 3 males to feed ;)
I was that grateful for her doing that for me
I went and filled out a form expressing my gratutide.
Knowing from experience she will hopefully be rewarded for awesome customer service

My second encounter was a lovely male operator.
I stupidly forgot the 10% off dicount that was in our junk mail again for the grand re-opening
So he very graciosuly put that through for me.
He then told me i couldn't use my team discount
and you know what that was cool i'd just gotten 10% instead of 5% anyways
The next thing i know he was saying
"but we can put your staff through and then do a refund of 10%"
I was shocked
What an amazing thing he had just suggested to me!
That operator saved me 5% off my total
then refunded my another 10% which turned out to be a whole $15 extra!!
Needless to say I had to tell his manager too!

I walked away from that store with a smile on my face
and feeling kinda proud that i was apart of a company whos team members were this generous.

I hope that both of them get rewarded for their brilliant customer service because they both deserve to be told what an amazing job they are doing.
Some people may think they dont really need it
But as i said we are people too and it's nice to be shown our hard work is appreciated.

 What are you grateful for this week?

Playing along with the wonderful Maxabella

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Thursday, June 9, 2011

J Talk edition 2

Master J is coming out with new words and ways of saying things every day
and i want to keep a record of them
Which is why i have decided to to do a few posts on his words
which will only be an every now and then thing.

So this is installment number 2!

" Beat bik"
translation - weet-bix

I hear a big bang or thud coming from another room
theres no tears so hes not hurt or broken
"Master J are you ok?"
Master J answers?
"I k"
translation - I'm ok

translation - McQueen as in Lightning

"Doody & Bugz"
Translation - woody and buzz from toy story

"I blow"
Translation - i need to blow/wipe my nose

"No poo"
Translation - he dosen't have a dirty nappy (pretty obvious i know)

Translation - Cohen aka Lil C

"Look mum weaw weaw"
Translation - Look mum a police car/ ambulance/fire engine

I love that he has his own little way of saying things now
 I love even more he can tell me what he wants or needs
His speech is coming along beautifully.
What funny words does your kiddie use for certain things?

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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

It's more then a number game...

Do you ever get to a point where you want to delete everything from your life?
You know like facebook, blogger, twitter?

I do plenty
Im there right now
Why you ask?

Because people are way too consumed with themselves
Thats the simple way of putting it.

Since leaving high school i have struggled to find me.
Who i am what im good at that no-one else is good at
Something that people will go, oh go ask Tara something people admire me for.

It seems there is always someone trying to steal my shine!
Wether it be blogging, or meal planning, being organised
the worst one, the biggest one, the one that drives this post 
my facebook business.
I cant stand it
Why can they just not let ME have my momment?
Why cant they just let me Shine?

Im not going to get into stupid petty fights about it
I am smart enough and mature enough to know i did NOT create any of the ideas i had for my business
for my blog, for meal planning and organising
the point is out of X amount of certain people i felt like i had done it first.
( i know there will be people reading this going no you didnt, & why do you care simple as i do care it hurts)
But then my idea was ripped away from me and someone else got the spotlight.

Yes yes i know
Imatation is the sincerest form of flattery

But to who? because i sure as dont like it!

Life seems to be one big competition
one big game of numbers

image from here
How many people can i get on my business page, how many likers can i get on my blog or Blog FB page
I wont deny it i was like this a little while ago
But i've since seent he light
Who cares how many people you have on a page or readers of a blog
Because think about it, really think about it!
Out of say 1000 likers how many buy your products
Out of 162 Blog FB page likers how many read your posts and interact with you?
Dont get me wrong i am grateful for the amount of likers i have on all my pages
But i wouldnt lose any sleep if i didnt gain anymore.

Ok yes i know the more you get out there the more promoting you do the bigger oportunites you can gain
I guess i believe that if anything was meant to be
 It will happen regardless of what you do or dont do to help it.
I'm happy to take it slow these days and just let it happen when It's meant too.

My main goal now is to interact with as many of my exisiting likers and followers
If new ones pop in awesome but i want them to come off their own back,
because they like what i sell, they like what i type, they like what i have to say.

I joined the forum on FB pages yep its true
but for me it was to find more blogs to follow.
They are all in one spot FANTASTIC makes life so much easier
I won't follow a million blogs or like thousands of FB business pages
if im not interested in reading them or buying from them.
Whats the point all it does is clog up my newsfeed.
I guess you could see it as organising my blog and FB life.

Reading back over this it sounds harsh and somewhat hypocritical
But everyone makes a new choice somewhere which contradicts their past 
But its all about growth and realisation.
I have just reached that point.
Hopefully this decison and this change gives me the chance to shine
For it to finally be all about me
Selfish? no i dont think so
We all deserve to have something that is just about us!

Life is too short to worry about numbers and to rush trying to get to "where you want to be"
Im just going to sit back and go with the flow
ride that rollercoaster and see what happens.

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