Monday, May 23, 2011

Crying Babies and Anxiety

Crying babies give me anxiety

Image from Here

Yep tis true.
Every time i hear a bubba cry i get a little anxious
It dosen't even have to be my own could be someones in the supermarket.
But as soon as those cries hit my ears i start to fret.
Its not a bad anxiety it dosent cripple me but my heart starts to race and i start to freak out

I know you're asking why right?

The answer..
Sleep deprivation and being a new mum
Hearing cries brings back so many sleep deprived stressful memories.

My blue eyed Boofa was such a terrible sleeper and whingy bubba.
In the beginning he would feed and wake so often i would be stressed every time i heard him cry
At night was the worse, i craved my sleep in the early months and he didnt.
So every peep every noise every cry would send my heart racing, somedays the tears would fall
All i wanted was sleep, all i wanted was him to sleep longer then an hour here or a few hours there.
He was also a baby who needed attention
You had to be playing with him or he would whinge.
Its just who he was.

Mix all of this with being a new mum and thinking you werent doing things right
and of course i was going to get some sort of anxiety.

This was one of my biggest worries when i had Lil C
that he would be the same that he would not sleep very well and be quite whingy.
I was compeltely wrong
he hasn't been like this at all...

...except for the past week or so

You may have read in an earlier post he is not well
the poor owlet is teething and has a blasted cold
all of which is causing him grief, hes having trouble falling asleep and is just not a happy boy
 unless mummy is giving him cuddles.
So the anxiety has come back slightly

Before he got sick i could let him cry it out on the floor
Dont call DOCS it would only be for a few minutes while i finished what i was doing
and he would only be crying because he had gotten stuck crawling around or is ready for bed.
I could handle it because it didnt happen too often or i knew what he wanted.

But now the poor cherub is crying because hes feeling like crap :( 
Its brought back all the issues of i dont know what he wants!
I dont feel it all the time but if we've had a bad day it definatly makes me fret.

Second time round it is most certainly easier to handle the crying.
Most days i know exactly what is wrong
But that all goes out the window when they are sick
I just have to keep telling myself that hes sick and dosent feel very well
and it really helps lower the anxiousness.

I hope i am normal to an extent i even hope im not alone
Having such a difficult time first time round i guess it was only natural that it would carry over to number 2
Im just glad its not as bad and can seem to handle the crying alot better.

On a happier note if anyone is wondering
Master J ended up sleeping through the night at about 18 months old
the whinging?
 well lets just say mumma still gets slightly anxious and stressed some days ;)

But hey they are my babies and really in the end its all completely worth it.
brotherly love at its most perfect

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*edited becuase my proof reading sucks!