Prioritising Me

I wrote a blog before i lost my lappy about not letting negativity and bad vibes bring me down

you can read it Here

I think i did pretty well, i felt a change in myself

Could it be maturity? hmm possible although i can still be silly somedays, but i made some huge changes

Could it be i've just had enough and need to concentrate on me and my kids? More then likely.

Some people out there wont understand why i do the things i do or am doing

and thats ok, they dont need to understand

because i need to do these things for Me

And Of course for my children too

but if i dont look after me i cant look after them.

No-one else matters.

Its time to put me first.

I am not in a good place today, i havnt been for a little while.

There is so much drama & hurt that i have just reached the point where i dont know what to do next.

My head is a mess.

I do however know that i NEED to do some things for ME

and not worry about anyone elses feelings.

Selfish? yes of course it is! and its about time i was! 

Coming from me being selfish gets me in trouble, people start to get angry at me, think im being nasty, think that i dont care

All because i am always so self less.

I dont want to say, "well not anymore" because i will never stop being like that

but i will say im taking some time out for me.

*I want ok neeed to get my hair cut

*I want to really get into cooking, it helps me so much, its so theraputic

which means i would love new kitchen equipment, mixer and bowls and pots & pans etc

*I have things i need to do for my FB business TeeLee Blue 

i almost gave it up and i dont want to have too make that decison again

*I want to spend more time with my children, do more things, re-create or vegie garden, cook with Master J, do arts & crafts, more silly time.

*I want to blogg more, more and more i want to learn lots about it too.

*I want to spend a little less time on FB.

this is hard with my business

i dont want to just disappear for days thats not me, i chose to be on it everyday

if i didnt want to be i simply wouldn't

i just love the easy interatction & most of the people on it 

so i deal with the drama and all the other crap but maybe i need to cut it back some.

*We need more family time.

It was so good there for awhile & then someone get too interested in other things

(thats another blog post completely!)

and we have suffered for it.

*I want a night out every now & then wether it be dinner with friends or just a hot choccie.

*I want to study event management or planning i think they are the same if not similar thing but ither or.

*I want to be happy with myself, even more organised  i just want to be me

Tara, not just mum, or a friend, or a sister, or a daughter..

Tara first then i know all these other things will follow.

I guess all these things will take time and thats ok i just need to be pro-active.

No more time wasting, no more procrastinating.

These things are what I need to do for ME

and in turn for my children.

They deserve more then i am giving right now and if putting me first to put them first

makes me selfish then bring it on i'll be selfish for the rest of my life.