Sunday, May 1, 2011

Prioritising Me

I wrote a blog before i lost my lappy about not letting negativity and bad vibes bring me down
you can read it Here

I think i did pretty well, i felt a change in myself
Could it be maturity? hmm possible although i can still be silly somedays, but i made some huge changes
Could it be i've just had enough and need to concentrate on me and my kids? More then likely.

Some people out there wont understand why i do the things i do or am doing
and thats ok, they dont need to understand
because i need to do these things for Me
And Of course for my children too
but if i dont look after me i cant look after them.
No-one else matters.

Its time to put me first.
I am not in a good place today, i havnt been for a little while.
There is so much drama & hurt that i have just reached the point where i dont know what to do next.
My head is a mess.

I do however know that i NEED to do some things for ME
and not worry about anyone elses feelings.
Selfish? yes of course it is! and its about time i was! 
Coming from me being selfish gets me in trouble, people start to get angry at me, think im being nasty, think that i dont care
All because i am always so self less.
I dont want to say, "well not anymore" because i will never stop being like that
but i will say im taking some time out for me.

*I want ok neeed to get my hair cut

*I want to really get into cooking, it helps me so much, its so theraputic
which means i would love new kitchen equipment, mixer and bowls and pots & pans etc

*I have things i need to do for my FB business TeeLee Blue 
i almost gave it up and i dont want to have too make that decison again

*I want to spend more time with my children, do more things, re-create or vegie garden, cook with Master J, do arts & crafts, more silly time.

*I want to blogg more, more and more i want to learn lots about it too.

*I want to spend a little less time on FB.
this is hard with my business
i dont want to just disappear for days thats not me, i chose to be on it everyday
if i didnt want to be i simply wouldn't
i just love the easy interatction & most of the people on it 
so i deal with the drama and all the other crap but maybe i need to cut it back some.

*We need more family time.
It was so good there for awhile & then someone get too interested in other things
(thats another blog post completely!)
and we have suffered for it.

*I want a night out every now & then wether it be dinner with friends or just a hot choccie.

*I want to study event management or planning i think they are the same if not similar thing but ither or.

*I want to be happy with myself, even more organised  i just want to be me
Tara, not just mum, or a friend, or a sister, or a daughter..
Tara first then i know all these other things will follow.

I guess all these things will take time and thats ok i just need to be pro-active.
No more time wasting, no more procrastinating.

These things are what I need to do for ME
and in turn for my children.
They deserve more then i am giving right now and if putting me first to put them first
makes me selfish then bring it on i'll be selfish for the rest of my life.

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