Tuesday, May 10, 2011

2 boys & wanting a girl... or maybe not?

I have 2 boys
2 handsome little men
Who i LOVE with my all

In actual labour with master J (L) My 2 babies now (M) Waiting for our induction with Lil C (R)

I wont deny the fact i was disappointed that one of my babes wasn't a girl.
I thought i wanted a pinky to dress up, go shopping with, share the mother daughter bond that i have with my mum
To share in all the girly things.
And up until recently i thought i still wanted that, that i still wanted a girl.
I watched the show 8 Boys and wanting a girl
and i felt for these woman because i wanted the same thing.
After watching that i had a talk to a lovely mumma of 3 beautiful boys Miss A
Who said i shouldn't want to have another baby JUST to try and have a girl
and you know what?
she was ABSOLUTLY right
(I look at the converstaion now and see how superficial it was)

So I was prepared to stop at 2 boys. 2 amazing little men.

But now im not so sure.
If you were to ask me
"are you done having babies?"
I couldnt say yes!
I just can not bring myself to say
I am done having children.
I just know in my heart there is at least 1 more babe in me.

Right now 2 is plenty but i would love to be pregnant again.
have another baby, raise another little human.
I loved being pregnant, dont get me wrong i complained
but overall i had 2 amazing birth experiences and i would love to go through it again
(if possible i know things could turn out completely differnt i was extremely lucky)

Would i want it to be a girl?

Yes, i would love a little princess
I think I would be just as happy if we were blessed with another baby boy.
(confused yet? yeah so am i!)

All of these thoughts running through my head have made me realise
we aren't ready for another baby yet.
That i need to be 100% prepared to have 3 boys.
(dosent that sound terrible!)

Right now in this momment i would happily birth another boy
But then i see a baby girl and think i would like to expereince that too.
Some people wont understand this as they read it and thats ok they dont need too
I know how very lucky i am
I have 2 healthy boys, i was able to carry my babes to full term with no complications
I was able to fall pregnant quite easily

I really am truly grateful for everything i have
There is just something inside me that would love to have a bond with my own baby girl.
Then theres something inside me that would love to have that mother son bond again.
So for now i am putting my all into loving my boys, they really are the light of my life
they are my everything and you know what 2 boys is fantastic!
I love having 2 Little Boys

We are just going to see where the wind blows us
All i know for certain is we will be going back for number 3

Im sure 3 boys would be even more amazing then 2...

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