This question popped up at me the other day.
Do you love your life?
Simple answer NO I dont love parts of my life
More in depth answer?
Well here we go!
I cam across a status on one of my favourite FB pages
From someone who I admire, look up to and respect so very much.
Her status was simple.
"LOVE my life xxx"
How could she not love her life
After all she has been through she is finally living out her dream,
and doing a damn fine job at it too!
I could not be happier for her
But I envy her for my own selfish reasons
I want my dreams to come true too
I just have no idea where to start or even what they all are.
I read that status about 3 times
Each time feeling a pang of guilt
I dont love my life, well for the most part, and that straight out sucks.
I love being a mother more then anything
Some days are really hard others are just pure bliss but i know
I was put on this Earth to be a mother, to be a mother to these boys.
I love I am able to be a SAHMummy, that I even have this opportunity, twice even.
This is the part of my life I DO love.
There are many parts of my life that i wish could be better or differnt
Only i can change these I know that
but it dosent make it any easier trying to figure out how to change those things.
There is something missing.
I dont know what it is but I am on a mission to find out.
Before I had my babes I worked full time in one of the bigger supermarkets
I was heading towards a career with them
I decided that my babies would come next though.
A decsion I do NOT regret
It was absolutly the right one.
Before working I studied Community Services and Youth Work
Both I was good at nither of which interest me anymore.
I love to help people
I love to organise
I absolutly loved planning and decorating Master Js 3rd Birthday Party
and I have loved learning all these interesting things about his speech and behaviour.
There is defiantly a few things I could I do around the things I love
I just have so many dreams and desires
I just dont know where to start or what to do :|
I have never been the type of person where great things have fallen in my lap
I have always had to put blood sweat and tears into everything I have ever wanted
and thats ok by me
It gives me a sense of accomplishment
I can say I did it on my own.
This will be no differnt.
I hope this time though more opportunitys arise to make the decison a little easier
Only leaving me with the hard work required to succeed.
I know the universe will guide me in the direction I'm meant to be heading
I believe whole heartdly it will show me what I am supposed to do alongside being a mummy
We have already made one decsion regarding me returning to work
and I hope that in itself opens a few new doors.
In the mean time I will follow my one true love of mothering
Walk this path with passion and joy
Love the momment
For now I will love with my everything that part of my life
One day I will love my life completely not just part of it
One day I too will be living out my dreams.
One day I will have the life I dream of for my family