Thursday, September 8, 2011

The breakup + developmental delay = tough times

Master J has not been coping with the split very well at all.
I mean I didnt expect him too this time he is older and understands more.
But I didnt expect it to be this hard to deal with ither.

Every time he speaks to Mr S he asks him to come home because he misses him
He constantly asks for his daddy
Everything he sees throughout the day has something to do with daddy
It breaks my heart that my boy is hurting
I want to fix it but I know I cant.

I dont regret making the decison to live our lives like this
Its something that had to be done for all of us
I just wish it wasn't so hard on my boy

Luckily his team of therapists are amazing
They are helping us with startergies to help him cope
We need to get him into a routine with visatation and "family" situations
having him know what to expect
is going to make the times in between him seeing his dad that little more bearable

We need to keep talking to him
explain to him very simply that mummy & daddy can't live with each other
but that we still love him and his brother

We need to let him vent safely and cry and scream
I know some days I feel like that
I cant even imagine not being able to express those thoughts and feelings.

We are also implementing a calendar and clock for him
which Im really excitited about and will share once compelete
Im hoping it will help him grasp time a little easier
and it might help him cope with the time in between seeing his dad

In all honesty we have a huge road ahead of us
Its not going to be easy but the days will start to become better
I will do anything in my power to make this easier on my boys
and they will always know this wasn't their fault and that we both love them very much
I will never bad mouth their father to them
and I will encourage their relationship

I think if Mr S & I can stick to this way of thinking
The boys will be able to cope with this alot easier
and the future will be bright for all of us.

So far so good on all accounts and I couldnt be happier!
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