Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Feeling Like Tara Again

I've been a single mumma for almost 7 weeks now
and it's been hard
Some days are fabulous and others arent so great at all

Amongst the good days things seem like a right old mess
and just cant seem to be fixed right now and not from a lack of trying
I've made choices that aren't really the best for me but I'm working on it
but all of it is teaching me things about myself
my strengths and weakness's, how much I will tolerate & how much I need certain things

In saying that though I have had to occupy my mind with other things
because things aren't getting better in some aspects

I have thrown myself into finding me again
thrown myself into Blossoming into me

As I've said in this post here I'm not exactly sure how to do that or what I'm looking for
but I guess you could say things are happening?

* I'm trying to look after myself & move some of this baby weight
Im not far off at all
I'm eating healthy and actually eating 3 times a day all healthy plus healthy snacks
drinking lots of water & working is helping too
I'm going to zumba classes once a week & I even brought a dance DVD 

* I'm planning for Christmas
it will just be me and the boys so Im going all out
and I am so so so excitied!

* I purchased the TAFE guide and have 2 courses that I am interested in
I just have to take that tentative step and apply
because could i really do it all?
Mother, be me, work, blog and study?
I guess theres only one way to find out right?

* I am starting to come back to being the mum I was
yes its true through all of this my mothering has slacked slightly
Dont get me wrong my boys are looked after they are fed, bathed & clothed
But the fun had gone
The outings the activites
Buts its all coming back.. slowly
The mother I want to be is starting to blossom again

* I am hoping to take my friend up on her offer for a little mini holiday
To where she is living now
I think it will be perfect for me and the boys
especially if its gorgeous weather

* Another big thought, that only happened today was a move interstate
Honestly I havn't really thought about it but I'm kinda thinking why not?
What's holding me here?
The boys are young enough to adapt
we would be walking into an already established circle of friends all who have kiddies!
The only thing is obviously its not a "on the whim" decison
There is so much to consider
But at least I can think about it right?

There is always room for possibility

* I'm trying to do things for me
I am in the process of making my room all about me
making it my safe place, my place to relax in
I am also saving up for a lavish hair cut and colour, I think I deserve it
I'm trying to re-ignite my passion for craft and its coming back a little bit
At one stage I was inspiring people that felt awesome
I want to get back to that

* I'm cooking more
the motivation for yummy meals every night is semi back
and Im loving the fact my freezer is full and finding new recipes

After reading this Post & Giveaway the other day from over at the gorgeous Naomis blog
I know I am on the right track
and that i really must get this book!

Looking at this list
I'm making positive steps
I still feel alone and scared of being alone 
but my future is looking brighter

Things aren't perfect right now and I knew they wouldn't be
But there is light at the end of the tunnel
and today... I have hope

What do you do to find you?

post signature

*edited for image credit forgot it again damn it lol