I have always wanted children, Since i could remember.
I loved playing with baby cousins, cuddling them, feeding them.
You could say i knew i would be a mum one day.
That day came on the 17th Of June 2008
The first most amazing day of my life.
We found out i was prengnat at the end of september not long after my birthday
It was very very early but never the less there it was a very faint double blue line
OHH EEMM GEEE!
we were so excited yet so scared all at the same time
Next step Doctors appointment!
Once the blood test came back that i was indeed pregnant it was all systems go
Booking in at the "womans health clinic" at the hospital, telling our families and buying everything we needed.
Not to mention all day sickness decided to appear.
We were given a due date of the 10th of June 2008
we couldnt wait to meet our baby!
After our first few appointments at the clinic we had to decide wether we going to go through the Maternity ward or the Birth Centre
We had already decided i was going to do this with no epidural so we chose the birth centre as they only offered the pethadine and gas.
For 9 months everything went beautifully well except the first 4-5 where i had full on morning sickness
other then that my MW told me it was a textbook pregnancy
(whatever that is)
We found it we were having a little boy
He would be the first boy grandchild on both sides
His heart beat was always very strong, my BP was always spot on and i measured just right
As we got closer to his due date we got a little more anxious but getting his room, bassinet and carseat ready all helped distract me from the actual birth.
I was only 22 at the time of his birth and quite naive
he was due on the 10th of June so thats what date id be holiding my little guy right??
he was still 7 days away!
On Tuesday the 10th of June my partner went to work as there was no signs of out baby come any time soon
I started getting dull period type pain in my lower back but nothing a heat pack, warms hower or warm bath could fix.
This went on until thursday where all pain stopped.
I had been thinking the past 2 days that it was the start of something but no it just stopped
(the calm before the storm)
Until friday then the pain started again
a little bit stronger but i was still able to relive it with heat and water.
Saturday was much the same still no baby and bearable pain.
Sunday was the day!
It was on like donkey kong the pain had gotten worse still in my lower back and no amount of heat or water would make it go away
I just knew it was here to stay it was still fairly bearable but i knew we were on our way
We were going to meet our baby soon!!
So youd think... but no my body had other plans actually
48hours of irregular painful lower back contractions, no sleep and no baby.
Over the two days Sunday and Monday
We kept in touch with our midwife went in for an internal which i wasnt able to relax enough for was offered a shot of petheadine but was told it could slow the labour and i could wake up to no pain
there was no way i was going backwards it was only onwards from here on in!
So we went home so i could labour at home as it was only early labour
my mum stayed with us for a few hours while i tried to sleep
she would rub my back with every contraction my partner just supportively in the background.
it was all too much to bare id been in early labour for about 48 hours i was sore and exhausted
we ended up at hospital at about 10.40pm after and internal
i was FINALLY 4cm dilated
we were admitted!
my MW for the birth centre was called and we went put into our birthing suite
My mum arrived not long after us and we all settled in.
I laboured in the birthing suite just walking around and using the bed to rock mum was always there ribbing my back My partner just hanging around in the background knwoing that mum and i had it under control
i had my strep b needle and got my bands put on
everything was set to go.
Then at about 5ish i need to go the toilet so in between contractions i went to the toilet
As i was washing my hands a contraction came so i leant over to rock and ride it out
that contraction was the one to break my waters
I screamed for my mum who ran in and then proceed toget my MW Helen
who confirmed my waters had broken and that it was happening!
She suggested having a shower so off came the clothes and in i jumped
It was heaven it felt so nice
mum was still rubbing my back int he shower and helen just waited in the doorway giving instructions when we needed them
My Partner just waited in the background again i knew he was close by thats all i needed.
After about an hour in the shower Helen said it was time to get into my nightie and start really pushing this baby out
So we hopped on the bed me on the right side, stuart on a chair next to me mum on my left side holding the gas on my face for me, Helen down south where all the action was about to take place.
I was told to start pushing through my bottom on my next contraction
So we began! Gas on me screaming blood curdling screams
it flipping hurt!
After 2 pushes like this Helen said i needed to concentrate my noise into pushing so only to groan loudly
It worked we pushed and pushed and groaned and grunted.
As he was crowning Helen exclaimed "hes bald"
to my horror i was like "what bald he cant be bald"
(of course he could be i dont know what i was thinking)
I knew we were not too far away from holding our baby boy.
And finally it happened i pushed through that ring of fire and out came his head.
i stopped pushing just long enough for Helen to make sure he was breathing and that his cord wasnt around his neck adn finished off pushing his little body out.
Helen caught him and litterlaly threw him on my stomach
My boy, he was here, he was covered in gunk but was oh so beautiful!
she laid a blanket over his back checked that he actually was a boy and i brought him closer to me on my chest.
He was crying not very loudly but all it took was some gentle sssshhhing and pats on the bum and he stopped and just laid there.
Stuart hurried around to the other side as his little face was facing my mum and we all cuddled up on the bed our first family cuddle
My mum the beautiful mum she is just stepped back and grabbed the camera
The first thing i notcied was his hand from the angel he was laying on it looked HUGE lol but it wasnt it was perfect.
All i kept saying to stuart was "its our baby, hes here"
There were tears all round exceot for me :(
I was too exhausted to physically cry but on the inside i was crying a waterfall
I had done it i had given birth to my amazing little man.
After 48 hours of early labour, no sleep, 8hours and 50 minutes of active labour, pushing actively for an hour, using just the gas i gave birth to a healthy baby boy
Joshua Andrew Graham was born
Tuesday 17th June 2008 at 7:05am
weighing 8lb 40z and meaasuirng 52cm
He was perfect
and now 2 and a half years on he is a boystrous little man who makes me so proud and amazes me everyday
who we love with our everything.
Stay tuned for his little brothers arrival